My Baby Is Settling In At School

So....It's that time I have been worried about for ages. My youngest is starting school in September!
After a wobbly few months where he was scared of even picking his sister up from there, he's really excited to start.

Last week he has his first settling in hour long session. I'm not going to lie, it was quite emotional leaving him in the classroom but all the mums and dads gathered in the hall for coffee and a chat so that took my mind of it for a while. He came out beaming, waving a drawing in his hand and my worries started to disappear.

This week was his final session before September. This time I dropped him off at the classroom door and came home, this was very strange but he went in so happy I knew I had nothing to worry about. He was so excited walking to school, shouting "I'm going to schoooool" the whole way there.

I guess I better start buying his uniform, something i've been putting off for a while.
My baby is going to school.

Does anyone else have their little ones starting school in September?

........And Breathe!

Hiya.

some may have noticed that I haven't blogged for ages or been posting as much on Instagram.

When things are rubbish I'm not able to pretend and carry on like nothings going on. 

Yes, I mostly show the good stuff but recently there hasn't been much at all.

Basically over Christmas and New Year I had a breakdown (I know rubbish timing right)! To be honest it's been brewing for a while- at least a couple of years probably. 

I've tried quite a few different anti-depressants since I had Post natal depression following Eddie's birth 3 and a half years ago, but they all made me sick and even more anxious than I already was. I kept telling myself I wasn't really that depressed, then I got extreme anxiety and I thought oh it's OK everyones anxious once they have kids. It's only now that I'm on medication that seems to be working, I realise I should have tried them years ago! Although I'm only 3 weeks in, I'm already seeing an improvment in some areas. 

I never wanted my blog to be negative or depressing but after taking a break I have realised I can't change what myself and my family are going through and if writing about it and being honest helps with my recovery then thats a good thing.  I've so desperately wanted to keep blogging but I've had that voice at the back of my head saying "No one's going to want to read this".  But this is me right now!

I'm really not very good with actually talking about things face to face, the last few weeks, pretty much every time someone talks to me I've burst into tears. Not even many people who know me in real life that I see every day know what's been going on, so if i've been in daze, walked past you, avoided eye contact, not replied to messages, avoided meeting up and pretty much come across rude then this is why. I'm getting so much support and I am so grateful to my family and friends for sticking with me and supporting my husband and kids also. 

Much love, and here's to 2016!!!

xxx

Santa Came To Our House!

Every December in the weeks leading up to Christmas day Worthing Lions charity do a street collection. It's basically a transit van covered in lights with a huge tree on the back and Santa comes to the houses, collects money  and hands out sweets, the kids love it!

I took a few videos:

Eddie was very excited!

                                     

I always manage to just about get them in and out the bath before they come down our road!

Does anyone else have a local tradition like this? I think it's so lovely and saves us a trip to see santa ;)

Application for Infant school

This week I finally did it....I applied for Eddie's place at infant school. The registrations opened in October and I kept putting it off- I knew I had to do it by mid January but he's still my baby, the youngest child and I'm not ready to lose him to school yet. Luckily I have 9 months until that day comes, so lots of snuggles and fun times to fit in!  Here is is looking super grown up, coincidentally at the school he will be going to!

And here's one post barber trip. He's very much into styling his hair at the moment- he even told the barber how he wanted it cut and how much gel to put in!

Anyone else have their little one starting school next September? 

Poppy's Top 5 Christmas Wishlist

With Christmas fast approaching I thought I would go through Poppy's wish list and pick out the top 5. I think many other 5/6 year olds will have these on theirs too.

1. Sylvanian Families- After talking to some mums at school apparently these are on a lot of christmas lists this year. I remember loving mine when i was a child. This starter set is great value at around £20.

2. Playmobil- Both Poppy and Eddie are VERY into Playmobil at the moment. They have started watching the Super 4 series on Netflix and have asked for the playsets. We actually recently managed to pick this one up from amazon for £19.99 which is half RRP.

3. Playdoh- I don't think kids ever get bored or grow out of Play Doh....do they? you'd definately catch me still playing with it anyway! When you mix it with My Little Pony you can't go wrong really!

4. Girls World/ Styling Head- After years of battles to brush and style Poppy's hair in the morning she is finally showing an interest, so i think this will be perfect. I may have done a little jump for joy when she asked for it!

5. Lego- Again another toy that never really gets old or grown out of! Poppy loves the Lego Friends sets. We managed to get this half price earlier in the year and have it put by for her birthday.

What are your little girls asking for this christmas?

Look out for Eddie's coming soon!

Reclaiming My Identity

When I first started this blog over a year ago, It was a place for me to get my feelings out, talk about my day, do something for me and I guess to get my creative juices flowing again. At school I so desperately wanted to work for a magazine. I even went onto higher education to study media- focusing on digital imaging and writing,  I made a website for a small pop group and designed flyers for club nights when I lived in London. It actually feels crazy to read that as I feel like i've completely lost my identity since having children.

After reading an Instagram post about having an identity out of being mum from the lovely Natalie (who is hugely inspiring by the way!) so many other mums replied with exactly what I was thinking myself. I know when you have children things change, thats natural but when your identity completely changes and theres nothing you can think of in the present that resembles how you were pre kids it's not good. I gave up thinking i could wear what i wanted just because I couldn't lose that last stone of baby weight, I was too old, the other mums I now spent time with didn't dress the same etc. I'm hardly the best role model for my children when I don't feel confident as the person who brought them into the world.

So off i went to my wardrobe to realise that i'd sold most of my old dresses. "It's Okay" I thought, tights, denim shorts and a t shirt- apparently in the 4 years i've not worn tights my legs have either elongated (or widened ;) ) or the tights have shrunk-Yeah right!!! Time to do some selling and cheer my wardrobe up a bit. I'm looking forward to charity shop trips, customising and acessorising and building back up that confidence I once had. As for going back to my creative roots, I have made a start on getting super organised. I now schedule at least 2 hours when the children are at school to have a coffee and blog, write down ideas, play around editing photos and get that "me" time. I definitely think that having a little designated desk area helps but more on that in a future post.

What Poppy Wore

Poppy had an inset day this week, so we headed out to town whilst Eddie was at Pre-School.

First she went to get her hair cut. She's wanted a bob for a while now and she's so happy with it :)

Then we looked around the shops and popped to the beach.

Top and trousers both from H&M

Boots from Shoe Zone